Why did the chicken cross the road?

Chicken joke: Bukowski

alarob — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:00:12 +0000

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Charles Bukowski: To go to the bar, pick a fight, and find a good hen.

Chicken joke: Pat Buchanan

alarob — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 00:00:35 +0000

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Pat Buchanan: Clearly that road was one of many roads, too many roads, that lead right past the Border Patrol and right into the overburdened heartland of America.

Chicken joke: James Bond

alarob — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 00:07:59 +0000

Author Ian Fleming’s impression of Agent 007

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

James Bond: World domination. The same old dream. Our asylums are full of chickens who think they’re Napoleon. Or God.

Chicken joke: Hans Blix

alarob — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 00:00:29 +0000

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Hans Blix: We have reason to suspect the chicken of a crossing capacity, but we cannot make a final determination until inspectors have searched the far side of the road.

Chicken joke: William Blake

alarob — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 00:06:31 +0000

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

William Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Chicken joke: Big Pharma

alarob — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 00:25:12 +0000

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Big Pharma: . . . Side effects are usually mild and may include headache, nausea, vomiting, liver failure, or dementia characterized by compulsive road-crossing behavior.

So go ahead. Take charge of your life. Ask your doctor about Avid®, our latest boutique drug for vaguely unhappy chickens.

Chicken joke: Samuel Beckett

alarob — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 00:00:19 +0000

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Samuel Beckett: He got tired of waiting.

Chicken joke: Paul McCartney

alarob — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 00:23:20 +0000

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Paul McCartney: Because the long and winding road will never disappear.

Chicken joke: Richard Nixon

alarob — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 00:03:43 +0000

Richard Nixon died on this day in 1994. New documentary material from his turbulent presidency is still being released. So perhaps some day soon we’ll turn up a transcript like the following.

HALDEMAN: So, ah, I guess we need to know, ah, why did the [expletive deleted] chicken cross the road?

PRESIDENT: Edgar will find out. Or, uh, we could put, uh, Liddy on it. Liddy. I worry about Liddy sometimes. Remember when we assigned him to figure out which 1 of those [expletive deleted] passenger pigeons had been leaking campaign secrets?

Chicken joke: Baden-Powell

alarob — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 00:04:23 +0000

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Robert Baden-Powell: To earn a road-crossing badge.